The Utah Jazz | as seen by Basketball John

The season is upon us.  Kirilenko’s crying is behind us.  Fesenko is riding a bus.  Malone is a dutiful alumnus.  I’m listening to “My Name is Jonas.”  And the Canadians are eating turkey.

So let’s put together one of those previews for the season.  I’ll be doing one a day until I’ve covered the whole team or until I’ve worn out desire to do them any more.

So let’s start with Sloan.  And as life reflects Seinfeld, let’s start out with the Seinfeld quote that best describes Sloan (George in The Opposite):

SHUT YOUR TRAPS AND STOP KICKING THE SEATS! WE’RE TRYING TO WATCH THE MOVIE! AND IF I HAVE TO TELL YOU AGAIN WE’RE GONNA TAKE IT OUTSIDE AND I’M GONNA SHOW YOU WHAT IT’S LIKE, YOU UNDERSTAND ME? NOW SHUT YOUR MOUTHS OR I’M GONNA SHUT EM FOR YA AND IF YOU THINK I’M KIDDING, JUST TRY ME. TRY ME, BECAUSE I WOULD LOVE IT!

I would have loved to have seen Sprewell try to choke Jerry.  I believe Spree would have gotten his can kicked.

And as we begin year 20 of the Jerry Sloan project, we have fans in two camps:  Jerry can do no wrong and should stay as long as he wants.  And then we have the “the game has passed Jerry by and we should get someone else” crowd.

We’re looking at a coach who will probably have something named after him and we’ll end up with “Jerry Sloan court at the ESA.”  And his bronze statue out front will have him berating Ostertag or Amaechi.

So whenever I hear someone say that they need to bring someone else in, I ask who would you bring in?  It can’t be anyone on the current staff because they’re cut out of the same cloth.  Those that want change usually want to bring in someone that will pick up the tempo and let the Jazz run.  But exactly how many championships have those teams won?  The last three champions: Spurs, Heat, and Pistons.  It’s boring and predictable to some and it works.

So what can we expect from Sloan this year?  Pick, meet roll.  Same, meet more.  Coaches and teams have known what’s coming for the last two decades and still can’t stop it.  And despite recent articles that Sloan is re-thinking his coaching philosophy, John Deere is more likely to change their colors to pink and purple.  If someone doesn’t set a pick or doesn’t rotate on D, Jerry isn’t going to coddle them and protect their delicate psyches.  And it will be good for another 50 wins.  And we’ll let Jerry (Seinfeld) take it home:

You know what a good [coach] is worth? You can’t compare that to sex.